Chopping Board Cordial

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It's worth noting that if you're a stickler for consistency this is not the recipe for you, as the delicious and flavourful ingredients in this are made up of citrus off cuts, tropical fruit ends and mint stems you may otherwise toss out every night. 

This recipe requires some advanced planning and breaking of bad habits. In your kitchen or bar, place a container along side your bin or in reaching distance of the chopping board and label it "Not A Bin". Next, during prep and service, when ever you have any of the following, pop them in the "Not A Bin" container for safe keeping.

  • Trimmed zest of citrus
  • Mint stems
  • Ends and cheeks of fruit
  • Squishy berries that are too bruised to use as a garnish
  • Cucumber off cuts we all have because of a certain Scottish gin that's bigger than Jesus (fuck that guy anyway)

A few things we don't recommend putting in there

  • Leaves (mint, basil, pineapple, etc). Sadly they contain too much chlorophyll and will go bitter and real nasty
  • Whole citrus and halves that have been squeezed. Do this with them instead!
  • Dried spices or chilli (a cheeky pinch won't hurt)
  • Meat, dairy, eggs, etc.
  • Water, ice or spirits (this isn't your slops bucket!)
  • And while it may seem obvious, anything that isn't edible.

Using this cordial, it definitely falls outside the realm of "classic" cocktail ingredient, but here also in lies its beauty. It's a great way of making sure every drink you create is truly one of a kind, and where ever a classic recipe also calls for citrus, using this bad boy means you can use less citrus and thus continue to reduce your consumption. 

CHOPPING BOARD CORDIAL

(Example Recipe)

1kg Mixed fresh off cuts

1L Water 

240g Granulated sugar

24g Citric acid powder

12g Malic acid powder

  1. Weigh your off cuts and add the same amount of water
  2. Cover and leave to soak over night at room temperature
  3. Strain out and weigh infused liquid
  4. (Assuming new weight is 1.2kg) add all powders and stir till dissolved
  5. Bottle and store cold

 

A more detailed (and let's be honest, hilarious) account on the process is below for those wanting more information:

  1. At the end of service take the off cuts you've saved and weight the weight them out. It's worthwhile at this stage sorting through quickly to make sure everything in there fits the above parameters. Take that weight, and add the same amount of water (1kg of off cuts = 1L of water). Cover and store at room temp over night.
  2. Next day get your environmentally friendly, punk ass into work early, strain off and weigh the liquid into a clean container and compost or otherwise consciously discard the off cuts. Secretly stashing them in your co-workers locker, while hilarious, is plain fucking evil. You bastard.
  3. Say your infused liquid now weighs 1.2kg (even though it's a liquid its good to use grams at this stage), you have a decision to make. If you want a syrup, add equal parts sugar, but if you want more of a cordial, then you only want to add around 20-30% (240 - 360g) of the weight in sugar. In fact, and this is where you've got to check your OCD bullshit at the door, depending on what fruit found it's way in to your "Not A Bin" the night before, you may get away with as little as 10% sugar. It totally comes down to intended purpose and the various levels of acidity in your off cuts.
  4. A lot of your chopping board off cuts will likely be citrus if you're in a bar, and well, having citrus aroma and flavour with out at least a hint of acidity on the palate, is kinda like The Misfits without Danzig, a little lost and generally meh. So to help preserve flavour and give that citrus a bump, we use powdered citric and malic acid. By weight (measured before adding sugar) we tend to use 2% citric acid and 1% malic acid as a guideline. Again though, play around and create a recipe that suits the needs of the drinks you're making!
  5. Bottle and store cold

 

And that's it! Loads of words for what is a very simple recipe (sorry 'bout it) but ultimately this one is going to require a little trial and error to find something you're happy with.

So get that "Not A Bin" label done up and reduce your impact suckers!

Pit Stop Rum

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There are a lot of damn delicious spirits out there and rum sure isn't lacking as a contender. As such we're going to *try* not have too many recipes that involve spirit infusion, partly because we're not even going to pretend for a minute that we could possibly make something better, and also because certain parts of the world have laws that make messing with yo spirit illegal... and this is most definitely a global message we're trying to spread! Every now and then we're gonna have something too good not to share though, and this shit below definitely ticks that box in a big ol' way.

In 2015, the UK managed to spend over £200m on avocados. Yup. Don't get us wrong, they're fucking delicious, and the fact British people now consume food that is a colour other than grey should always be applauded, but that's also a lot of pits and skins getting tossed.

Those pits are full of oils and flavour and colour and basically everything that makes a food and drink delicious, so we figured it's time to put them to good use.

Our other ingredient for Pit Stop Rum is as you may have guessed from above snap, pistachio shells. No mildly alarming figures about the pistachio that we know of, sorry, however what we do know is Iain eats shit load of them and so we definitely had to find a use for those shells before they hit the scrap heap.

TT PIT STOP RUM

Part 1 - Avocado

500ml White Rum - nothing that breaks the bank, you're going to fuck with it anyway

1 Avocado Pit - wipe clean and dry so it's easy to grip and no funny green stuff is on it

 

  1. Take a large bladed, sharp knife and cut a little cheek off one side of the pit so it now has a flat side (don't throw that little bit out either - DUH!)
  2. Lying the pit on it's flat side, cut in half. Repeat again so you have four quarters plus probably some flaky bits
  3. Now take the knife and turn it side ways, placing the large flat side firmly down on one of the quarters. Ensuring your fingers are no where near the sharp side, push down on the blade evenly and firmly so you squash the little pit underneath. Repeat this for all the other bits of the pit.
  4. Take the knife and cut the squashed pits as finely as you can
  5. You can totally cheat all the above and use a microplane but be careful yo, those things are unforgiving to say the least
  6. Put the pits in a pan on low heat and dry toast until the colour changes to a pretty-but-kinda-weird pink brown kinda colour (very exact here, obvs)
  7. With your rum in a separate, food safe container, scrape the toasted pits into the container and give a quick stir.
  8. Let stand for 1 hours to infuse, stirring occasionally or when you're bored
  9. Filter through a super bag and store air tight

 

Part 2 - Pistachio

250ml White Rum (Or the rest of the bottle - but keep the bottle, you're gonna need it) 

10g Pistachio Shells

 

  1. Pop your shells in a pan on medium to high heat and dry toast till they are well toasted and almost turning black in spots.
  2. With your rum in a separate, food safe container, scrape the toasted pits into the container and give a quick stir.
  3. Let stand for 1 hours to infuse, stirring occasionally or when ever bored.
  4. Filter through a super bag and store air tight

 

Part 3 - Blending

Having made both recipes we then spent a lot of time testing what the preferred ratio to blend these two tasty treats is, and landed very happily on a 2 parts avocado to 1 part pistachio.

Cafe Orgeat

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Orgeat is a cocktail bar staple whether you're blasting out Mai Tai's for the masses or knocking up a tasty wee Cameron's Kick for someone who wants to up their Sour game. This is one of the first recipes we tackled when embarking on Trash Tiki and to date remains one of our favourites - simple, easy to tweak to your own taste (turbinado sugar kicks ass as a substitute) and most importantly, is a great showcase of how much tasty flavour we're chucking in the bin everyday. Consume less, make extra tasty drinks and show your guests that you want them to #drinklikeyougiveafuck too!

 

CAFE ORGEAT

1 kg Boiling Water

1 kg Granulated Sugar

2 Almond Croissants

  • Don't buy that shit, just hit up your local cafe and ask them to not throw out what they don't sell. You want these for the sugar and the butter/oil so ain't no thing is they're a day or two old by the time you use them

100ml white rum

 

  1. Vat all and store covered for minimum 12 hours. Stir occasionally.
  2. Blitz the shit out of it (stick blender or vitamix - doesn't matter) until croissants are fully destroyed
  3. Filter. We use super bags as they're reusable and when you got lots of prep happening at once, can just hang em up over a tub and walk away.
  4. Store cold and air tight

S

PINK CITRUS

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It's no secret that the skin of any citrus has oils-a-plenty and with those oils come loads of flavour and aroma. Blasting spent lime husks with a bunch of boiling water is a great way of stripping out those tasty flavour and aromas and while yes, eventually even the recipe does break down like lime juice itself, we still always get a solid 48 hours before this tends to happen.

To make sure this really is the business, we're using hibiscus (good to be re-used up to 3 or 4 times) to make it pink and pretty, a touch of agave to give it weight in a drink like fresh citrus does, and citric and malic acid to help give it the acidity of lime juice.

TT PINK CITRUS

1L Water

10g Dried Hibiscus

6 Squeezed Lime Husks (Halves)

10 % agave syrup by weight

31.5g Citric Acid

10.5g Malic Acid

 

  1. Pop the water on the heat and add the hibiscus immediately (it's got sod all flavour and really is there just so this doesn't look brown when you finish). Don't let the water boil, but let it simmer for 5 mins or so.
  2. With your husks in heat proof container, pour the hibiscus tea over the lime and let stand for a full 5 minutes
  3. Strain and measure volume. As the lime as porous they'll usually actually absorb a bunch of water and so we've found for every litre of water you wind up with around 700ml yield. Different citrus at different times of the year will have different results so do measure your yield each time!
  4. Add the agave (10% of yield) as well as citric and malic acid (6% total at a ratio of 3:1 citri to malic) and stir till dissolved.

 

Bottle that shit up, cool it down and there you have it, TT Pink Citrus thats ready to go!! We've found when using in long drinks it requires around 10-15ml for a balanced drink but see what works for your bar and when shaking with Pink Citrus, keep it short and sweet as there is already a touch extra dilution going on! 

Watermelon Rind Cordial

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After bringing Trash Tiki to Asia, North America and South America over the last 5 months there has been one ingredient that we have come across many times, espcially in the heat of summer. Watermelon.

One of summers favourite flavours winds up in everything from mojitos to margaritas, but what we have found in common with all this summery business though is three things. One, the pink flesh goes off quickly making mise en place and batching something of a ball ache. Two, the pink flesh doesn't sit very well in drinks, meaning it separates quickly and your cocktail winds up with floating pink scummy cap (gross). And of course three,  that the rinds get thrown out every damn time.

What the rind have though, is a shitload of flavour that often gets overlooked. The delicious juice is used loads, but the rind gets chucked. Here we made it into a super green and flavourful cordial by using our tried and true top secret method! Also known as "I don't know what the fuck to do with it, lets cover it in sugar and see what happens". 

So here ya go, tried and tested to the point its been an ingredient in the top selling drink more times than we can remember.  Do make sure you wash them first of course, and if some of the pink flesh is left on thats no biggie.

WATERMELON RIND CORDIAL

  • 200g Watermelon Rinds, washed 
  • 400g Sugar

Cut watermelon rinds into 2-4 inch pieces and lob in a cambro or large container. Cover with sugar, seal the container and leave in a refrigerator for 12-24 hours. Go do your shift, party or whatever it is you need to get done. Don't leave any longer than 24 hours, watermelon goes off and you don't wanna be cleaning up any smelly mess, especially with a hangover. The next day, most of the sugar should have dissolved into a liquid. Give the rest of the sugar a little stir and lob it all into a blender or vitamix and blend until the sugar has completely dissolved. Take out and strain through a mesh strainer and then through a superbag.

This one has a shorter shelf life that some, given that watermelon can go off a bit quickly. Refrigerated shelf life of 1-2 days and we don't recommend batching this in with any alcohol. Also if it's a big thick, you can of course add a touch of water after blending till you hit the consistency you want.

Thats it. Simple way to get a stable and consistent watermelon flavour in your cocktails, all while making sure the humble watermelon is never a single use ingredient again.

#DRINKLIKEYOUGIVEAFUCK

Pink Citrus Salt

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This is an easy one, but first you've gotta have made our Pink Citrus which you can go and do right here!

So, surprisingly, despite the fact most bars treat citrus as a one and done kind of ingredient, those suckers have a shit load to offer. And most of it as you've seen with the previous recipe, lies in the skin.

We all know salt makes things even tastier, but it's also damn good at extracting and what we're going to do below is use it to drain the last bits of flavour from the limes.

This makes for a killer garnish or to use a pinch to make your drinks pop, particularly anything with vermouth or sherry in it.

 

PINK CITRUS SALT

1kg Leftover from your Pink Citrus batch

  • Make sure it's a good mix of lime and hibiscus that is strained off. It can be damp, just not wet

Shit Loads (technical measurement) of Maldon Salt or the like

  • Buy it in bulk though because they're box packaging is a load of shit and completely unnecessary. And let's be honest, you're going to need delicious salt again in your life soon.

 

  1. Pop the leftovers in a food safe, high sided container
  2. Slowly cover leftovers with salt, giving the container a good shake to ensure it get in all the gaps. Don't have more than an a few inches of salt above where the leftovers stop
  3. Cover the container and place in a safe place out of the way for 2 days, giving it a little shake up when you remember to
  4. Pour all your rad new Pink Citrus Salt into a new container without any of the lime or hibiscus and store air tight at room temp

#drinklikeyougiveafuck

Basic Bitch Tepache

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Lets face it, the one thing that bars need a lot of is juice. Particularly in the tiki business. In fact, one particularly secretive prick when asked for his recipes responded to media with 'rum and juice'. By way of this fact we often end up with loads of pulp, rinds and other scraps that would otherwise get chucked in the bin. 

There is so much flavour in that stuff!

A mega problem bars have is the sheer volume of the shit. Get this, juice 5 pineapples and you'll probably wind up with more pulp than you do juice. You already have a pineapple flavour in your drinks, as does every other bartender wearing a 3 piece suit and a fucking mustache. DO SOMETHING MORE INTERESTING, put down the 3 foot barspoon, and ferment some shit.

We did this one with pineapple, but you can do it with any other fruit pulp you have provided it has fibre, moisture and acidity. BONUS, you can dump it all in there, skins, core, pulp, whatever. Just don't use the leaves, they are too bitter and a bit weird.

This recipe is so simple, lob it all in a container and leave for 3-5 days. Cover it but DON'T SEAL IT. We don't need anyone winding up with a prep area that looks like a mutant pineapple shat everywhere. You can buy a fermentation tub and an air lock if you wish to keep the aroma under control, but a container covered with a cloth and tied with string will do fine as well. 

BASIC BITCH TEPACHE

1 pineapple- rinds, pulp, core, whatever. If you have juice that you cant use at the end of the night, lob that in there as well.
1 L water
1 cinnamon stick
5 cloves
20 all spice berries
1g (ish) yeast
250 g sugar

A note on the yeast: We have used all kinds! It works really nicely with brewers yeast, but we have used Sauternes yeast and different wine yeasts as well. They all produce different and unique flavours. There will be package directions for how much to use to give you an idea (we like to waive it about like fairy dust as a measurement). Keep the remainder in the fridge, it is a living thing.

Leave it to ferment at room temperature (consistency is the key here!) for a few days, tasting it when you feel like it. The longer you leave it, the more sugar the yeast will consume and the dryer it will be. When fermentation is at point you're happy with, strain off the pulp and refrigerate your tasty af tepache!

Oh - and keep back a little of the pulp and juice  together with a fresh bump of sugar, this becomes what's known as the "mother" and you can add a touch in to the next batch to get it moving quicker.

AVOCADO PIT ORGEAT

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The almighty avocado, it has become to coffee shops what the pineapple has become to bartenders. A symbol to be made into pins, tattooed on oneself and 'gramed ad-fucking-naseum. Great to know we can waltz into any city and be guaranteed an avocado toast with our flat white, but what the hell happens to all the pits once we're through?

Straight into the bin we reckon, but actually the pit is full of nutrients and we've learned has many more uses than spreading on your toast in the morning. In fact, while on the hunt for avocado pits in Mexico, we spoke to a bartender whose grandma used to brew it as a tea whenever they were sick, as it's got a shitload of antioxidant properties. Turn's out the humble avocado seed has been part of the Mexican traditional medicine for centuries, all we're really doing is adding sugar!

So hit up your local cafe whilst you're grabbing your 3:00pm caffeine fix, ask them to set aside their  of their avocado pits and put this orgeat sub on for a try. Bonus points, you no longer have to pay out the fucking nose for almonds.

Avo Pit Orgeat

  • 4-5 Avocado Pits
  • 750g sugar
  • 750ml Water

Make sure your avocado pits are clean and dry, scrub off any of the green stuff still left on them and leave to thoroughly dry out either under heat or overnight. You can blitz them two ways, despite looking pretty hard, they contain a lot of moisture and are quite soft so blitz em up in a Vitamix or blender until they're pretty fine and consistent. Or you can use a microplane to grate them up. Then, over medium-high heat in a dry pan, give them a medium toast moving them around in the pan contantly. They'll turn bright orange and then get a toast on pretty quickly. Thats the hard part done (this recipe is annoyingly simple). 

Add your toasted pits to the sugar and water and stir, if you want a richer syrup you can drop the water by half. Leave to infuse overnight, give the whole lot a blitz in the Vitamix or blender the next day and strain through a superbag. Done! 

As you can see this is just the base recipe and open for so many variations. If you want to do more of a falernum, add some spices (cinnamon, allspice, clove, anise) to the pan to toast with the pit, and then a leftover orange and lime husk to infuse with the lot overnight. Subbing out different sugars works awesome too and using as the base to blend with different nuts so you can reduce you consumption is also a great move!

#DRINKLIKEYOUGIVEAFUCK